ya. I’ve been like that, not even time to get radio segments sorted and produced. I am wanting to do more with this on a daily basis, b/c life is daily and strategy is moment by moment, as we scrape off conditioning and buff into our true selves. honestly, I’ve been receiving ALOT of invitations recently and they have all seemed to be correct! BONUS! I need to do a little reviewing and write/speak about them. I’m still in the game, dear reader…. so much to share.
well now! I awoke slightly tired and with drymouth due to the snot/allergy laden nose not letting a single air molecule in thru my schnoozle. Other than that its been a good start. I was going to go berry picking this morning, but realized that would be a flake off thing and so am at a coffeehouse getting mailing lists together for my work/love, and necessary errands that involve a bit of hoop jumping and little stickers for license plates. and writing to you.
during my walk this morning I just didn’t have much to say. Just a morning of contemplation that my world is shifting ever so slightly. ever so slightly.
What I am working on is this thing I call Buffing. Very crucial for a projector. We won’t be as readily noticed unless we buff. We are containers for the energies of others, and guides for their direction as well as our own. If my energy is clear and clean, I am available to manage with integrity, and more readily recognizable. So, now I buff.
I can totally work on myself, through my own definition, what I DO have in my chart, and cultivate these attributes. This comes only after clearing( talked about later). I find nothing wrong with inviting others to respond to how it is I am showing up. This helps me to FIND OUT HOW I AM DOING. Since I am here to know myself through the power and clarity with which others respond to me, logic and mechanics shows me that I if am operating correctly, then the correct people show up and feel comfortable and at ease around me.
Now, back to buffing.
Its perfect, really. Now that I have cleared out and know when someone/thing is conditioning me, I can now focus on me, myself and I. I buff for me, and what I am capable of, not in any particular direction or for anyone in particular. I find it fascinating that once I decided to embark on this journey of buffing, my phone has stopped ringing. I get like 1-20 calls a day. It just dropped to like two or three. Nice way for the ambient structure to free me up so I can really focus on me! Sweet.
Important point: if you are a projector and consider buffing, PLEASE be sure you are doing it for you and yourself alone. If you buff in a particular direction, or for a specific job or person, in order to gain their favor, you are not buffing. You are angling your way into a mess. You aren’t doing for yourself, its for someone else who may not be correct for you. Forgetaboutit! Focus on what you do have for definition and what is reliable in your chart, and work that, regardless of what others may think. Most people aren’t even aware of what is correct or not correct for themselves, so they aren’t even very clear in themselves anyway.
I can invite others, and seek response from the energy of others as long as my inquiry is rooted and founded in my own clarity of my own authority. Ahhh, there it is! Authority. Mine is based in my Ego and my sense of self, so I cheq in around my will. That which compels me. The will is a deep inner knowing, a form of drive that has the power to drive my vehicle, as long as I can focus the energy, rather than splaying it all over the place, very indicative of our species. That which I know to be true inside myself, as close to response as a non-energy type can get to response. I have taken all the flamboyance and awesomeness, and focused into this lens of will. It doesn’t mean I can’t be looking good or being totally clutch in my awesomeness, I kinda hafta be, just my own. Nothing has apparently come out the other side yet, but I am diligent, without attachement, and have no hope for any result. Just diving in like my 25/51 tells me to.
Yep, its weird. Its very unlike the ‘law of attraction’ or any of those other ‘goal setting workshop’ criteria’s dictate. It’s a whole other way to do it. Its Human Design. The genes know what to do, and how to do it. We just hafta get the heck outta the way…
I’m on a bender. not like the usual bender. I’m calling it a bender b/c Its like I’m obsessed. I made up my mind two days ago, to truly and deeply cultivate my willpower and my direction. its all I have for definition so… I’m going to dive in. I have worked so diligently for the past 5 years to clear my aura of conditioning, and not like it will ever truly be clear, but it feels like I can sense much more when I am being filled up by or bridged by another. So now its my turn.
I’m diving into what I actually have as myself what I can count on and what is considered reliable in my chart. I have been waiting for this for a while. sinking my teeth into my own true Self.
As best I have been able to find so far, aside from waiting for the invitation I have not really seen or been made aware of the steps of the deconditioning process as discerned form the material in Design. I have some ideas and some of what has worked for me so far, and I will share that with you. Be mindful tho, I am a prjector, and these processes may not be the same for all types. it is Tito’s progress after all isn’t it?
the two centers i actually DO have defined:
(info taken from the UK’s Human Design Website)
Heart/Ego- The smallest centre in the bodygraph, it is, deceptively, a very powerful motor which drives will power and ego power. Unlike the other three motors, it cannot be pressurized by the root centre, as there is no channel connecting the two.
It has very important biological significance as the four gates coming from the heart centre relate directly to the physical heart itself, the somach, the thymus gland and the gall bladder.
It theme is all about surviving in the material plane in established communities.
G center- This centre has two themes: love and direction. Hidden within this centre is the mysterious Magnetic Monopole that holds us together in the illusion of our separation and it keeps pulling, in that sense it is about love. It’s secondary function is to give us our trajectory in life, our movement in space, in that sense it is about direction. The G Centre is the centre of our identity it is about a sense (or lack) of identity. Its biological attribute is the liver and the blood.
if you want to get more into your strategy and a authority you can try out what I am going to be sharing with you and then let me know how it works out for ya!
Tomorrow I will begin to share some of the processes and techniques that have arisen in my awakenings as a Projector…
I gotta get back into the groove of posting!
in the meantime, I have been setting up my schedule for introductory talks here in P-town, and I am rather excited about them! Do join me for at least one!
here are the dates for the talks
April-15 and 22nd
May- 6 and 20th
June- 3 and 17th
tuition for the evening is $10.00
we’ll be giving an overview of Design, and what’s up with it. Why its so incredibly amazing and how it can be practically applied to your life.
Please RSVP for each event. email me through my website
oh, and they are all the same so ya only need to come to one. Unless of course you want to hear me again and again….. and again!
This past weekend was Incredible.
I have completed teaching an LYD class (Living Your Design) with a small crew of eager students. They were completely blown away and very geared up for getting Strategic with their lives. I am filled with such gratitude for them and their contribution, willingness, and authentic inquiry. this stuff ain’t easy. not by one little bit.
Its kinda like having a large spotlight streaming into your house, the house you have been living in with no electric lights, and have kinda figured out where the furniture and tools and all that stuff that we use in our live are, by bumping into them enough times… and groping around in…
then, BLAMMO! the light shines in on EVERYTHING!
The more I share this work and knowledge with people the more Glints I see in their eyes, and the more jaws clatter to the ground. The votes are in. We giggled, guffaw’d, gasped, and sometimes sat with gaped jaw as we were witness to how Design brings a lucidity to our essential nature. It was brilliant.
And Its simply mechanics. its the mechanics of what works for your unique imprint, and what doesn’t! Its the mechanics of how energy moves(or not!) through your body, your life and others. Its about the mechanics of how other people, society and the transit field affect/condition/program each and every one of us.
Not as tho we are machines (far from it!), but there is a specific way that form interacts with other form. Each form(person) has a unique function/purpose/contract to fulfill while breathing and moving, and Design shows mechanically what that is. Its actually rather intricate and can be very subtle, but there is a specific way that all the life that we live moves through us, and echoes out into the world.Its not Esoteric. its mechanical. I hafta say though, when we look at how some of these interactions play out, they often take on a glow of esoteric, miraculous even, but essentially logical and full of ‘ah ha!’ moments.
One of the deepest (and often weirdest!) aspects of the experiment of Design is to get through the conditioning and the pushiness that we are all programmed to move through the world with. Living in a world that teaches/conditions/ and memes us into being pushy, grabby, greedy, and reachy, is literally exhausting and very frustrating.
‘no pain, no gain’-‘go for the brass ring’- ‘reach up and catch a shooting star’-‘initiative is what powers empires’
My students began their awakening, with a fascination, dedication, and hunger that I rarely see. the tools I imparted to them gave them a chance to see the world in a completely different way…
One filled with paradox and empty of judgment
A life of less resistance and more satisfaction
Relationships of less confusion and more clarity
Self love based on truth and grace
I give them kudos, b/c as adults, to decondition our minds from being the decision makers, to trusting an entirely different compass, can be challenging. They so thought they had it figured out about decision making, then found out that there was an ENTIRELY different way to go about it. But, i must admit, we are sooooo not as pliable as we think ourselves to be.
I am glad they are beginning to trust themselves and their own authority, not the stuff they’ve been taught.
Happy getting your sea legs students! thank you so much, and for being my teacher as well.
While teaching the class, many aspects of awakening returned to my awareness, and I have been just as blown away by the work we have done. I hope I may remain as available so that I continue to grow in this incredible knowledge, and mechanics, so that I can be the best passenger and allow my nature to navigate. Heck, what could I end up with, a helluva lot less resistance!
How do you choose/decide about questions and opportunities in your life?
• With your mind?
…and where’s that gotten you?
• With your intuition?
…and how do you know if its clear?
• How about using your strategy?
The keys to powerful living and happiness are rooted in the decisions we make. Do you trust your decisions? Do your decisions bring you happiness and satisfaction?
Do you know what to trust?
Has it been working?
What’s in the way?
How do you get it out of the way?
Flow in a life that is naturally yours
LIVING YOUR DESIGN
Your Design reveals your own internal authority and awakens your powerful decision maker that is already inside you!
Begin the experiment of discovering your authentic self, outside of and regardless of your upbringing, conditioning or programming. Scrape away the barnacles of conditioning and empower yourself with immense clarity!
Please join me as we embark on the most fun you can possibly have on two legs, and Learning about yourself, with me! I am a Jovian Archive, and HDA certified Human Design Guide. I know these waters just a little bit…
Living Your Design Weekend Intensive
During this discovery process you will get to know:
• how to strategically make decisions that are uniquely appropriate for you
• how others affect you, and to make that distinction
• and what openness and conditioning reveal for your comfort in life.
• How to maneuver more gracefully through your life
• with much less resistance and greater satisfaction.
Come away from the Living your Design’(LYD) seminar with:
• A renewed sense of Self
• A knowing of what works for you, and what does not
• Incredible relief from frustrations/bitterness/anger/cynicism
• How you have been conditioned, and how it affects you, specifically
• An Essential comprehension of Design
• Deeper self trust
• Appreciation of your uniqueness
• live your life on YOUR terms according to YOUR own true nature
• Practical daily practices for deconditioning yourself and empowerment
LYD Class in Portland AND Online:
What you need for the LYD class (live or online):
1. A foundation reading- from an analyst or an overview from Jovian
2. Living Your Design Textbook available from human design america
3. Sign up for the Intensive online!
Design gives us an essential truth:
Everything In life is about decision making. If you cannot make a decision as your Self, your true Self, then you will never be correct in this life. Never.
The mind has absolutely NOTHING to do with decision making!
ONLINE LYD Seminar ONLINE
Begins Jan 29th
-thru March 6th
thursday evenings 6:30PM-8:00PM PST
an hour and a half class every thursday evening
if you have web access, you can sign up from ANYWHERE in the WORLD!!!
register with Tito up to Jan 28th
Live LYD Seminar in Portland, OR
full weekend seminars
7:30-9:30 friday night intro
10-6:00 saturday (part 1)
11-6:00 sunday (part 2)
you only need to sign up for ONE of these weekends, don’t sweat it.
Dates for upcoming LYD seminars in Portland:
There’s nothing like being in aura for this seminar, really….
(not including text)
(limit: 10 people each seminar offered)
* a Human Design overview reading from Jovian Archive, or a Foundational Reading by a Jovian Certified Analyst! see my referral network in the sidebar.
* pre-registration with Tito latest three days before the seminar
* Living your Design text- available from http://www.humandesignamerica.com
OPEN HOUSE- A PRIMER of DESIGN
Introduction to Strategic Living- What is Human Design?
Mississippi district in Portland, OR
*come as you are!*
Projectors ONLY! (Boot camp for non-energy types)
Projectors are invited to Join me for a special study group every two weeks!
make incredible breakthroughs in how to correctly use your power as a projector. personal management and how to deal with being a non-energy type in a world that has no idea what you truly are…
Winter session begins Jan 28th!
Feb 11th & 25th
March 11th & 25th
5 powerful sessions are held in Portland, OR
per session $15.00
materials, exercises, and homework included!
one of the funnest and most insightful classes you could treat yourself to!
contact me directly for more information, email is great!
you can also cheq my fledgling HDS site!
and write to me from there…
please join me on this most incredible adventure of taking your life back from the Homogenizers!
I was just invited to join one of many Online Design Community thing on Ning.com this morning. As I was adding pictures to my profile, I got the twinge.
ahhhhh, Ibiza. I miss it.
yes, the island, but moreso, the people.
…and my first year 2007, this is my very first view of the Mediterranean Sea
I am working hard at several projects, and getting my schedule finalized for this winter for LYD classes, and open houses, but the flavor of being immersed in Design on Ibiza, with a group of people who are totally committed to Design, is delicious!
To be committed to Design in as far as I have been able to glean, is to be committed to freeing people into themselves. There is a being inside of each of us, that Yearns to speak, to act, and to live, unfettered. To live in a way that a Leaf dances on the wind for the leaf knows that life is the wind and it completely trusts that the wind will dance it to its perfect place. To choose to be choiceless, to allow for our deepest self to manage the life we were given, for it knows all the right dance steps, and to bust a move to be in that freedom? ahhh that is Love….
the Love of the Self.
to be present with beings who are so delightful, engaging, and determined. and awfully sociable as well, it rather incredible! Living my Design is a process, its got its learning curves, and quagmires, and moments of brilliance, so worth it.
so worth it.
as with anything worth while, it takes a while…
to learn about it
to experiment with it
to apply it
to integrate it
to let it soak in
and to become myself
Heck, Design is about people anyway, isn’t it?!
its about ourselves giving of ourselves enough so that we give up who we think we are, and who we have scrambled to try and be from others, parents, teachers, role models, culture, peers, the playground, the locker room, the rehearsal stage, the couch in the living room at the party in middle school where we did that thing…
and forgiving ourselves for making silly decisions based on what our minds try to figure out. WHEW! Glad I have THAT one in my cross hairs!
I gave permission to people that were close to me and who knew my Design, to call me out and bring me clarity. Dangerous and exhilarating! To be in sight of the ways my mind freaks out on me and makes stupid decisions, or gets caught into running scenarios in my head about things that aren’t real, or as it obscures my will and clarity of direction with senseless chatter….
and it continues to this day.
BUT, I gotta say I got some tools now, and at times, I can catch the little bitch when it tries to take over again, and again, and again. Wresting control of one’s life to a paranoid construct that take truth for granted, requires dilligence and discipline.
that’s why I totally dig this stuff!
So, this afternoon I was conferring with Kelly and getting it together here in Portland, for teaching the ‘Living your Design’ (LYD) workshops for the next three months. Paper shuffling, calls made, and promotions to be slung, are well under way. I have found that this weekend workshop is one of the best ways to enter into getting to know your Design.
Once you get your initial reading, be it an overview or a full foundational reading from an analyst, so many questions arise! this workshop answers many of those questions. Getting to know my Design is literally a lifelong journey, and it has to begin somewheres, and We all need help with new information. Now I’ve been chipping away at my Notself for over four years, and I hafta say that I still return, on a daily basis to the ‘pass, dribble, shoot’ foundational concepts that I learned from my LYD class.
It is my resolve to make my self available as a Human Design Guide, and to make this incredible information available to people and assist them as they get started on the journey of a lifetime. I have to say that my life has changed so much as a result of Design, that I am so much more fun to hang out with, am less pushy (love my projectorness), I find more satisfaction in my life, and feel so much better about how I make decisions, that it gets me all giggly most of the time.
So, I’ll be putting up a whole lot more info about my upcoming classes here lickety split, and please feel free to email me if you are interested in investing in yourself through the workshop. The is the launching pad for peace, satisfaction, recognition and just a nice big exhale around finding out the truth about ourselves.
Stay tuned! soooo much more to come!
So, I have been going through some major, MAJOR reorientation of my own self-ness. I feel as though these breakthroughs are very specific, and are about some deep set programming that I have been wrassling with. I have something I have not really dealt with or acknowledged surface, just about a few days ago.
When I first came across Design, and I discovered I was a projector, so many aspects of my life made sense, especially around conditioning from others.
*Why I was always exhausted by others (powered by the sacral of another)
*Why I felt swayed by others (conditioning from all my open centers)
*Why I always felt Like I had to do it myself, or alone ( super slaved to the desire to be recognized)
*Why I felt shut out alot (offering advice when it was not requested/invited)
*Why I could not feel my own ‘reason d’etre’ (open center conditioning spackle from others eclipsing my actual definition)
…and that’s just for starters!
After I began to work with my Strategy, a certain part of me died. Until discovering Design, I thought I was living such a vibrant life, and after being told I needed to ‘wait to be asked/invited’ I felt secretly horrible. A certain part of me was stunted or subdued. The ‘go getter’ and the- to use the language of Design, ‘the conditioned manifestor’ part of me had been slain. but that felt like no victory. There was a part of me that felt deadened or some of my fire had been snuffed out. It was a quiet agony of disappointment, and what felt like a terrible misfortune. Like a burn that never really healed, which when brushed or stubbed, reminded me of what happened.
I had to wait, for the other. no more initiating.
I have been grappling with this for three years, and I have no peace with it. Until now.
A part of my soul felt sullen, I felt as though the things I used to do were now ‘off limits’ or incorrect. Oh how wrong i was! oh, how wrong…
Design is a tuning, a refinement of how we make decisions in our lives, and how we can become so much closer to ourselves as beauty, its almost staggering. But, so many of our habits and patterns are so deeply ingrained that we don’t even realize how much these inlaid concepts affect us.
Inlaid is the analogy I used b/c it is similar to the inlay on let;’s say a wood cabinet. The wood of a cabinet is so perfect and beautiful in and of itself, yet someone chooses to add to the wood’s intrinsic beauty what they think is beauty. to see the wood in its natural state, unfettered, untouched, is what Design seeks. in the case of humans, as a species, inlay is not so good.
Why do I know I am wrong? How can I tell that this ‘silly’ waiting process is effective?
The ‘go getter’ is slain. and this is good, b/c I now seek myself, rather than fixing those around me. I inhabit my own body, and my own internal clarity. I know what is open in me and, after a significant amount of scraping off what people have ‘spackled’ into my open centers over the years, I can FINALLY feel my own internal compass, and its powerful navigational skills.
The sullen feeling of not being able to do my own thing has been transformed into what I call ‘buffing’ for projectors. I am working on myself, not initiating into the world, but what I do now, is for myself. It is not to please, invoke, tease, problem solve, cajole or attract, but simply for me.
How did this come about? A Slam. A poetry Slam.
My first one actually…
Not an empty seat in the house, all focused on six poets. The stage awash in mediocre lighting, and poorly tuned monitors. Backstory. Poetry seeped into my heart in high school through Robert Frost and Yeats, and took full residence in my soul in college. I gratefully blame Ted Walker, an English poet for tuning me into Phillip Larkin and through a survey class, the passion of the rhyme. I’m sure he would fully accept that blame, and I still need to send him a postcard and thank him. As of recent I only occasionally scrawl something and hide it in a notebook or a folder in my computer, alas…
the crowd was in great anticipation of being washed with rhymes and stories, yet I could easily feel their restraint and scrutiny. it was a slam after all and acuity is raised. Each poet significant. each piece crashed through my mind like a freight train. Yet the crowd held back.
they held themselves back. I could feel it.
for the love of the rhyme, and all that is profane, why?!
I no longer question, I observe and chew slowly, spit when needed and then swallow gently.
There is no ‘way’ in poetry, especially slam. may be some framework, but not enough to warrant the lack of reaction i was getting from the room. (when it comes to crowds, I am a lightning rod now, and its a challenge to ‘head out’ for the evening sometimes!) The Poets were hurtling their words at us and I was open armed like a city kid on hot pavement in front of a hydrant in late July. Then I could feel the lock, the binding, the hasp falling away. The lock of an idea of who I thought i was capable of being dropped, and rattled on the auditorium floor. I took a deep breath, and my shoulders rolled back.
My freedom is my own, and to whatever degree I embody it, is up to me. wow. fuckit, Its all mine. ALL mine.
My old manifestor self that pushed, arranged, and conspired is now dead. there is no grief.
Just my own self making my own way through a way that asks me to simply find my own energy for my own life for my OWN reasons, for MYSELF. All that clearing and cleaning over the past four years, and i had a classic ‘ah ha!’ moment.
They’ll see me, and if its cool and ok, then they’ll ask me to come out and play.
My own game is afoot. Whew!
This killer monkey is gettin’ D a n g e r o u s!