Posts Tagged ‘definition’

Men’s Group

January 7, 2009

I was invited a few months back to become a member of a men’s group. It has been a fantastic experience for me and I have been feeling stronger, and more myself, with the support of these men. After a quick nap to recover from the appointments for the day, I headed over for lively discussion and soup.
Soup? Yes, somehow we have a tradition now of chowing down some bitchin’ soup before we pass the talking stick. We meet every two weeks, and so its bread and heartiness for hearty men!

I had a great day of appointments and working on several projects, so I was feeling pretty relaxed and tuned up. I get to men’s group, sit down with my soup and bread, and suddenly I feel anxiety. Now, I check in with myself, and….

1) I had a great day,
2) feel good about what I have accomplished,
3) I have a pretty darn good relationship with these men,
4) I don’t have group/public anxiety,

So, I know this must be my Spidey Sense; otherwise known as; my openness or undefined centers. After all, I have 7 of 9 centers open….

my chart

I begin sniffing and checking. Its actually a very practical process, and soooo NON-woowoo.

I begin to sort through the auras in the room, b/c we are all sitting pretty close to each other. I can feel each of their signatures. chattery and churning minds, emotional waves, and steady root centers. I’m getting pretty adept at this b/c I have been meeting with these men for several months so far, and I know these men pretty well. Its kinda weird to describe, but since I have so little definition, my Spidey Sense has gotten pretty darn good. I check the guy on either side of me, and its not from either of them. skipping over them it gets a little garbled, so I figure I’m going to wait until the discussion reveals who has anxiety. I do feel specific pressure and its coming from somewhere off to my right, so I wait…

Then, the talking stick is passed, and he speaks.
He literally says, ‘ I have some anxiety around an issue, and I wanted to discuss it with you guys.’

Bingo.

Found it! sweet. Ahhh, I knew it wasn’t me, b/c I know what my own anxiety feels like, and it surely wasn’t what I was feeling.
hmmm, the power of auric interaction. Can’t help it, really. Since we all like to be around others, I think its more about developing an understanding of what is mine and what isn’t, and where I am being filled up by another. you hang out near someone, you will be in their aura, can’t help it. no foil dunce caps, or magnetic diffusers will help. This answered soooo many questions I had about being a chameleon around others. with so much openness, I literally became the other person I am hanging out with! their defined auras filled up my undefined places, and I get all jacked on whatever is tumbling around inside them at that moment.

its quite technical, really. Recognizing that each of the 9 centers has a quality about it, a feeling/sensation when it is Defined and when it is UNdefined, and noting how it feels.
I don’t hafta get out my beads, or center myself, or any of that other new age stuff, its simply me, knowing what I have and don’t, from my rave chart. THEN….

I can sit inside my own body, and know that the sensation is NOT me, or I can move away from them. we can only protect ourselves a little bit, the overlap is kinda crazy. Like two bubbles that are around 8′-10′ in diameter lacing into each other throughout the entire interaction…

8'-10' feet in ALL directions

8'-10' feet in ALL directions

He got his anxiety off his chest, and I know he did, b/c I felt so much better after he finished talking….
whew! and Men’s group rocked me, yet again. thanks boys!