Posts Tagged ‘projector’

Tito Teaches!

January 24, 2009

How do you choose/decide about questions and opportunities in your life?
• With your mind?
…and where’s that gotten you?
• With your intuition?
…and how do you know if its clear?
• How about using your strategy?

The keys to powerful living and happiness are rooted in the decisions we make. Do you trust your decisions? Do your decisions bring you happiness and satisfaction?

Do you know what to trust?
Has it been working?
What’s in the way?
How do you get it out of the way?
Flow in a life that is naturally yours
By
LIVING YOUR DESIGN

Your Design reveals your own internal authority and awakens your powerful decision maker that is already inside you!
Begin the experiment of discovering your authentic self, outside of and regardless of your upbringing, conditioning or programming. Scrape away the barnacles of conditioning and empower yourself with immense clarity!

Please join me as we embark on the most fun you can possibly have on two legs, and Learning about yourself, with me! I am a Jovian Archive, and HDA certified Human Design Guide. I know these waters just a little bit…

I know something about you, and want to tell you all about it!

I know something about you, and want to tell you all about it!

Living Your Design Weekend Intensive

During this discovery process you will get to know:
• how to strategically make decisions that are uniquely appropriate for you
• how others affect you, and to make that distinction
• and what openness and conditioning reveal for your comfort in life.
• How to maneuver more gracefully through your life
• with much less resistance and greater satisfaction.

Additionally,
Come away from the Living your Design’(LYD) seminar with:
• A renewed sense of Self
• A knowing of what works for you, and what does not
• Incredible relief from frustrations/bitterness/anger/cynicism
• How you have been conditioned, and how it affects you, specifically
• An Essential comprehension of Design
• Deeper self trust
• Appreciation of your uniqueness
• live your life on YOUR terms according to YOUR own true nature
• Practical daily practices for deconditioning yourself and empowerment

LYD Class in Portland AND Online:

What you need for the LYD class (live or online):
1. A foundation reading- from an analyst or an overview from Jovian
2. Living Your Design Textbook available from human design america
3. Sign up for the Intensive online!

Design gives us an essential truth:
Everything In life is about decision making. If you cannot make a decision as your Self, your true Self, then you will never be correct in this life. Never.

The mind has absolutely NOTHING to do with decision making!

um, never, EVER trust your mind again...

um, never, EVER trust your mind again...

ONLINE LYD Seminar ONLINE
Begins Jan 29th
-thru March 6th
thursday evenings 6:30PM-8:00PM PST
an hour and a half class every thursday evening
if you have web access, you can sign up from ANYWHERE in the WORLD!!!
register with Tito up to Jan 28th

Live LYD Seminar in Portland, OR
full weekend seminars
7:30-9:30 friday night intro
10-6:00 saturday (part 1)
11-6:00 sunday (part 2)
you only need to sign up for ONE of these weekends, don’t sweat it.

Dates for upcoming LYD seminars in Portland:
February 6-8
February 20-22
and
March 20-22
There’s nothing like being in aura for this seminar, really….
Tuition $275
(not including text)
(limit: 10 people each seminar offered)
Pre-Requisites:
* a Human Design overview reading from Jovian Archive, or a Foundational Reading by a Jovian Certified Analyst! see my referral network in the sidebar.
* pre-registration with Tito latest three days before the seminar
* Living your Design text- available from http://www.humandesignamerica.com

OPEN HOUSE- A PRIMER of DESIGN
Introduction to Strategic Living- What is Human Design?
7:30-9:30PM
Feb 4th
Feb 18th
March 18th
Mississippi district in Portland, OR
tuition $12
*come as you are!*

Projectors ONLY! (Boot camp for non-energy types)
Projectors are invited to Join me for a special study group every two weeks!
make incredible breakthroughs in how to correctly use your power as a projector. personal management and how to deal with being a non-energy type in a world that has no idea what you truly are…
Winter session begins Jan 28th!
Feb 11th & 25th
March 11th & 25th
5 powerful sessions are held in Portland, OR
per session $15.00
materials, exercises, and homework included!
one of the funnest and most insightful classes you could treat yourself to!
contact me directly for more information, email is great!

you can also cheq my fledgling HDS site!
and write to me from there…

please join me on this most incredible adventure of taking your life back from the Homogenizers!

Radio Silence

November 8, 2008

Radio S i l e n c e
So, I have been going through some major, MAJOR reorientation of my own self-ness. I feel as though these breakthroughs are very specific, and are about some deep set programming that I have been wrassling with. I have something I have not really dealt with or acknowledged surface, just about a few days ago.

When I first came across Design, and I discovered I was a projector, so many aspects of my life made sense, especially around conditioning from others.
I realized…

*Why I was always exhausted by others (powered by the sacral of another)

*Why I felt swayed by others (conditioning from all my open centers)

*Why I always felt Like I had to do it myself, or alone ( super slaved to the desire to be recognized)

*Why I felt shut out alot (offering advice when it was not requested/invited)

*Why I could not feel my own ‘reason d’etre’ (open center conditioning spackle from others eclipsing my actual definition)

…and that’s just for starters!

After I began to work with my Strategy, a certain part of me died. Until discovering Design, I thought I was living such a vibrant life, and after being told I needed to ‘wait to be asked/invited’ I felt secretly horrible. A certain part of me was stunted or subdued. The ‘go getter’ and the- to use the language of Design, ‘the conditioned manifestor’ part of me had been slain. but that felt like no victory. There was a part of me that felt deadened or some of my fire had been snuffed out. It was a quiet agony of disappointment, and what felt like a terrible misfortune. Like a burn that never really healed, which when brushed or stubbed, reminded me of what happened.

I had to wait, for the other. no more initiating.
I have been grappling with this for three years, and I have no peace with it. Until now.

A part of my soul felt sullen, I felt as though the things I used to do were now ‘off limits’ or incorrect. Oh how wrong i was! oh, how wrong

Design is a tuning, a refinement of how we make decisions in our lives, and how we can become so much closer to ourselves as beauty, its almost staggering. But, so many of our habits and patterns are so deeply ingrained that we don’t even realize how much these inlaid concepts affect us.
Inlaid is the analogy I used b/c it is similar to the inlay on let;’s say a wood cabinet. The wood of a cabinet is so perfect and beautiful in and of itself, yet someone chooses to add to the wood’s intrinsic beauty what they think is beauty. to see the wood in its natural state, unfettered, untouched, is what Design seeks. in the case of humans, as a species, inlay is not so good.

Why do I know I am wrong? How can I tell that this ‘silly’ waiting process is effective?
The ‘go getter’ is slain. and this is good, b/c I now seek myself, rather than fixing those around me. I inhabit my own body, and my own internal clarity. I know what is open in me and, after a significant amount of scraping off what people have ‘spackled’ into my open centers over the years, I can FINALLY feel my own internal compass, and its powerful navigational skills.

The sullen feeling of not being able to do my own thing has been transformed into what I call ‘buffing’ for projectors. I am working on myself, not initiating into the world, but what I do now, is for myself. It is not to please, invoke, tease, problem solve, cajole or attract, but simply for me.

How did this come about? A Slam. A poetry Slam.
My first one actually…

Not an empty seat in the house, all focused on six poets. The stage awash in mediocre lighting, and poorly tuned monitors. Backstory. Poetry seeped into my heart in high school through Robert Frost and Yeats, and took full residence in my soul in college. I gratefully blame Ted Walker, an English poet for tuning me into Phillip Larkin and through a survey class, the passion of the rhyme. I’m sure he would fully accept that blame, and I still need to send him a postcard and thank him. As of recent I only occasionally scrawl something and hide it in a notebook or a folder in my computer, alas…

the crowd was in great anticipation of being washed with rhymes and stories, yet I could easily feel their restraint and scrutiny. it was a slam after all and acuity is raised. Each poet significant. each piece crashed through my mind like a freight train. Yet the crowd held back.
they held themselves back. I could feel it.
for the love of the rhyme, and all that is profane, why?!
WHY?

I no longer question, I observe and chew slowly, spit when needed and then swallow gently.
There is no ‘way’ in poetry, especially slam. may be some framework, but not enough to warrant the lack of reaction i was getting from the room. (when it comes to crowds, I am a lightning rod now, and its a challenge to ‘head out’ for the evening sometimes!) The Poets were hurtling their words at us and I was open armed like a city kid on hot pavement in front of a hydrant in late July. Then I could feel the lock, the binding, the hasp falling away. The lock of an idea of who I thought i was capable of being dropped, and rattled on the auditorium floor. I took a deep breath, and my shoulders rolled back.
My freedom is my own, and to whatever degree I embody it, is up to me. wow. fuckit, Its all mine. ALL mine.

My old manifestor self that pushed, arranged, and conspired is now dead. there is no grief.
no blame.
Just my own self making my own way through a way that asks me to simply find my own energy for my own life for my OWN reasons, for MYSELF. All that clearing and cleaning over the past four years, and i had a classic ‘ah ha!’ moment.
They’ll see me, and if its cool and ok, then they’ll ask me to come out and play.

My own game is afoot. Whew!

This killer monkey is gettin’ D a n g e r o u s!

Gettin’ Power’d UP!

April 17, 2008

This stuff really works!

So, I am out with a friend the other night, and we are talking about Human Design, He wanted an overview reading and we’d been waiting a while to get together, just to get some face time as well. We’re hanging out, trying to get into the ‘mood’ to talk about Design. Even lubricated with a dirty vodka martini and some really good happy hour food, still it’s a bit challenging. I can’t find my groove. I am ramping up and getting into it, but its not really working out, my thoughts are kinda fragmented, and i get off track and we bot get distracted. Both he and I are projectors, by the by, and so even when we’re together we’re not really ‘powered’ as it were.
Then, a friend of his(we’re in a restaurant at which he used to work) came over and sat down with us for a little visit while she was on break. I got excited, and started talking, east coast style! fast and concise and on a run! then she leaves to go back to her shift. and we kinda coasted back into the conversation, and foundered a bit more, but we were getting it done. I was almost satisfied with what I was sharing, but it still felt a little empty.

She comes back about a half hour later, informs us she’s off for the evening, so we invite her to sit with us. Off I GO again! talking a mile a minute, focused and sharing all kinds of cool stories and getting a lot across about Design in the overview with my friend, and a whole lotta other stuff too…
In the middle of this second conversation (with the added party) I say to him, “I bet you she’s a Manifesting Generator, and that
A) she’s got sacral definition, which means when she’s around she’ll be powering us up (the sacral is a motor of life force), and
B) that she has a defined throat, which means that who ever doesn’t have a defined throat(yours truly) will be talking a mile a minute, ’bout all kinds of stuff. And she just gets to sit there and soak it in.

well, after me talking my face off for another 40 minutes, and them both sitting there completely enthralled, I start to notice that I am getting tired. I remember again that my suspicions about being powered by her are most likely true, and I tell them both that I must cease, or I will burn out. Being very satisfied with his reading, and she well informed about bodywork modalities and a whole lot of other miscellaneous topics, they both agree that I can shut up now.
We pay the bill and egress into the cool night air. I remind him again of my suspicions of her design, and albeit he doesn’t quite understand everything I am speaking about, he logs it.

Its uncanny. I get an email from her the next day, run her chart, and there it is….

Everything I presumed!

Now, he and I are both projectors; he’s a mental one and I am ego and G defined.

Him

me

But the dynamic of her simply being present powered the whole process. She barely said very much the whole time, but she id say, “I’m just going to sit here and absorb what’s happening, don’t bother with me so much.”
Which of course, is a PERFECT description of a generator’s aura.

She’s go the sacral defined. the red square, the life force center, the powerhouse of vitality, and she also has the throat. the sacral is connected to the throat, up the left and through the G center (the yellow lozenge) so its powered by the sacral even though its a roundabout route. He has his throat defined as well, but its not powered by a motor, its connected to his conceptual center, but there’s not really power behind it. She’s the one that made is all go zoooooom. I have no definition in my throat at all, and I am usually the one speaking, as are other people who’s throats are undefined, they are the ones who end of blabbing all over the place, speaking what is not theirs, being powered by a defined throat in someone else!

Yep. I got powered, he got a killer overview, and we got to see the mechanics of aura in action. She’s going to be very excited about her reading, I can feel it.

And that’s the truth!

Pilgrimage

March 14, 2008

I am hereby completely set and locked in to going on my annual visit to Ibiza for the Ibiza event. I have been a basket case for at least two weeks, trying to get this thing sorted. whether or not to go, if this was right/correct and logistical elements that were and are unsteady at best. Locked in, I just noticed that, and now I find that I have chosen it. Do we choose? yes, we always choose, its just how much we own what we choose…
perhaps its my paranoid 3/5 profile… i dunno.

As you know I am steeping myself in Human Design as a perspective for making choices and self awareness. I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin and turned my eye towards my life, my alliances and relationships, with more fascination. It’s hella fun and a fabulous experiment.

This year I am on staff for video shooting the entire event, interviews, candids, environmental shots, and shooting for a live web cast of Lectures with Ra.(no I didn’t do this one)
here is a video about his encounter.

Looks like another working vacation for me, only with less dust. the event is about 10-14 days of lectures and workshops and gatherings of people from all over the world who work with Design. It is the intention of Jovian archive to develop a television broadcast component, seeing as they already have a daily radio show. I helped with shooting last year, and I have been invited back, now with full gear and lights, rather than the jury rig we used last year. it wasn’t a bad rig and we made it work, but we’re stepping up our game. I love working with these folks because they are all so present and willing and supportive of this work and the opportunities that can come with seeking and revealing ourselves. Great partying as well!
it is still the off season on Ibiza, and the island is sleepy with locals sitting calmly in cafes soaking up the last bits of peace, before the ‘European adult Disneyland’ opens after easter. Easter in catholic countries is fascinating, the ceremonies are intricate and embedded with the history, pain and elation of the beliefs. Add that to island living, and you have a recipe for amazing times.

here’s a little recap from last year

Projector notes:
I have been delving deeper and deeper into what it means to be a projector. The tag line for us is ‘to know ourselves through the other’. as for the term projector, we see ourselves when we can speak with others about what is going on in our hearts and what ideas are swirling around in our psyche. Its simple really, projectors get to spill ourselves out on other people(whom we trust) and just by simply hearing ourselves speak, by noticing the reactions and responses from the person across the table, we begin to actually recognize ourselves. it is a form of projection, but not as it is typically understood. If we are, as projectors, being correct there is an ease and a sense of openness in the people that surround us. the power we have is literally given to us by others, when we are invited to participate, asked to join, offered a position, or smiled at in a way that asks us to come in.the invitation.

the invitation comes with a bonus for us. the bonus is that if its correct, then whoever it is that invited us recognized us as well. We’re so damn good at it, we know how to handle and how to roll it out, its just we need someone to offer us the power pack to do it so we aren’t exhausted, or feel obligated afterwards. To be seen, and acknowledged is paramount to projectors. Yes, everyone wants to be noticed, but most people just want to have a deeper level of satisfaction in their lives. Projectors need to be recognized for their skill and ability, whatever that may be, and asked to join in. then they can jam all night long!

teaching:
So, for the past two months I have been taking a certification class to teach a beginner level program…
I am looking forward to teaching a class on it every month upon my return home from the event. the class will be ‘Living Your Design’ an introduction to the strategies for living through the lens of Human Design. I’ll post my schedule for teaching upon my return from the island. every month for a while.

that and a monthly class on my bodywork modalities, and maybe a layman’s massage class too. perhaps a couples caring for another class as well?

Walkie talkie stuff:
Know where I can find a 5 piece headset intercom system? I need it for the video production.
booth, tech and camera operators. any leads? Rent for three weeks or purchase perhaps?

I will blog.

Grumpy Projector Day

January 22, 2008

waking up
…not to mention the fact that the transit field is emotionally defined, well, if you know what that means then ’nuff said. let’s just leave it at that.

Today I am grumpy. The work I am doing on/to/with myself is getting close and its getting a little bit rough. I am spelunking deeper into my own design and into my own power, and its a bea-otch. one of my teachers says that when you are close to transformation and clarity on another level, you get uncomfortable inside yourself, the pants don’t fit anymore. . . so, keep pushing thru. Well, I was pissed all morning, grumpy and distracted, and then i just thrust my will back into my grumpy mind and pursued my day with a vehemence and brashness that startled my parasite/NotSelf. After all I have self projected authority.

See, I had this ‘great idea’ to get the whole dating thing going again, and maybe to play the field a bit to take a break from my toils at my work and my studies of design. Got the kaibosh on that from my HDS teacher. Work on my glow, she says, that is all. the projector glow, its about recognition for projectors, and I can only be recognized correctly if I got my inner shine on and my glow going, my expertise. Its not about broadcasting it, or showing it off, its simply hanging out inside of it, expectationless. I’m a projector after all, and initiating relationships is by its nature incorrect for my life energy. So, no experimentation with cheqing out others, which through most dating techniques I would hafta initiate. Save a little jing there sport.

So that’s a ‘No’ on the relational explorations. Maybe even a bout with celibacy might get me even more riled up, and even clearer? yeah, that and a bite stick to walk around with chewing on instead of my own arm.

As I struggle with the revealing of my own self through the perspective of Design I get a little touchy at times. As of now, in my grumpiness, my roomie has a similar design to me, but she is emotionally defined. I have been able to discern her emotions from mine, and just a few minutes ago, she came down and asked me an assumptive question, and i quickly responded with a clear answer, albeit I could feel it was motivated by her emotional system, I felt it surge against my aura, yet I kept myself clear, and tied to my own mast.

I’m feeling emotionally defined by the transits, and then interacting with her, and now I hafta clear it all out as best I can… truth is simple and easy. the confrontation comes when the truth is reinterpreted.

Emotionality doesn’t have to be long and drawn out and processing and all that drama stuff. Frankly, it rarely drags on, or dwells or festers. the wave can rise into hope in an instant, and crack at the blink of an eye. Being emotional can be something as quick as a ‘no’ that is positioned correctly to illicit a particular response, or to poke a ‘living room bear’. no consistent criteria, just that it goes up and down, constantly moving. experiential.

So, I am wresting control from my NotSelf, my mind and my intellect and slowly guiding myself into my own will and authority. As my Toltec teacher puts it, I am at war with my parasite/NotSelf. feels like it more often than not, and especially today! My will is grappling or better yet, scrapping with my mind, and I am wriggling around in the delicious pain of transformation and the dedication to the greatest journey ever. the journey to myself.

wow, now I have written all this stuff as a purgative and its not any better. urrrrrrrrgh.

Hello Lovelies!

November 15, 2007

yep here I am in California! I have been immersed in the Human Design System(HDS) for over a week now and have been traveling in some Very Interesting places. I must say, I have a penchant for complicated and intricate things, and this is turning out to be soooo much simpler than I could possibly imagine!

trellis.jpg

Here’s what I have learned so far…

*the magic of being correctly invited into a situation, and how easy the
energy moves. and for me being a projector, its pretty intrinsic to my
longevity and happiness

*how uncomfortable it is to push and initiate when I’m not supposed to

*paradox is inherent in our lives and actually an important part of the
human experience, not to mention it takes ENORMOUS pressure off of
expectations. ex: “it could happen, or not…”

*surrender is Sooo much harder than we think, but once ya get used to it,
the unknown becomes a friend

*How amazing the mechanics of aura truly are. its so mechanical and
technical it scared me!

*Design is extraordinarily lucid and acute in explaining the mechanics of
relationships, especially in my own family, and how
people/relationships/situations work, or don’t.

*finding out that… I am not supposed to initiate, yet my authority
(which is ego projected, so I hafta look to others for much of my decision
making process) is all about willpower, direction, and desire, and Yet I
have the design of initiation, but not in terms of initiating on my own
but of taking people through that initiatory membrane, that veil, the
“ring pass not…”

*the more I trust in my own process, the easier(initially) it gets.

* i have been a slave to others’ whims and thoughts my entire life, my own
willpower slowly being revealed in these moments

A Little Story…
I was once asked a question by a dear old friend who asked, “hey, this
whole ‘getting it’ thing. Once I get it and, y’know, see All That Is or
the answer or the deeper patterns, does it get any easier?

I laughed and said, ‘No it doesn’t. But, you become a bit more deft and
dexterous with handling the situations that arise, and the weirdness of
what it means to be human.

its just about being in your human-ness as much as you can stand.

More deeply tho, we are always taught to, suggested, and requested to
‘be yourself’.

Examples:
-You know, s/he’ll like you a lot more if you just be yourself.
-If you were just yourself, people would get more of who you are.
-why you gotta try to be someone that you’re not? Why can’t you just be
yourself?

But when if EVER, are we ever, EVER shown who we are. Is there a way to
tell… who you are?

Welcome to the Power of Human Design
this is literally the blueprint for taking repose into ‘yourself’.
I’m not gonna make any more claims tho. Just watch me, and my adventures
and the pudding will prove it to us.

but don’t take my word for it, try the experiment for yourself.

Because ultimately, Human Design has the capacity to give us that which
all the other disciplines promise as well….

Love Yourself